Since I started this blog, I have been trying to establish a regular posting schedule. So far the natural rhythm has been about every two weeks, so I am going to stick with that for now. Y’all can expect a new post every two weeks, at the beginning of the week. Sound good? Great, moving on…
**DISCLAIMER** This post is geared toward mothers. This is where I am at in my life and that is where my words stem from. BUT, if you are not a mother, please read on!! It is not only mothers that feel that dreaded mundane creep up on them. So, just insert father, accountant, waitress, writer, sales rep, etc, etc, wherever you see fit and go with it! We all deserve to have our lives light us up!
I am writing this post mostly for myself. It’s not that I don’t think all you other mommas out there deserve this, it’s just that I needed something tangible that I can turn to when this thing called Motherhood gets me down. And let’s get real, Motherhood gets me down sometimes. If I said it was all sunshine and roses all the time, I’d either be a liar or suffering from a serious case of denial! I love my kids to the moon and back (Hey, isn’t that a printable quote or something…?), but they have a real talent for making life difficult. Some days they leave me feeling like a complete monster and I wonder “How did I get here?” There are so many more ways to live life that would leave me feeling like a fabulous rockstar, right? If you have ever had these thoughts and feelings, welcome to the club.
That is where this post comes in. I needed a go to list of things to do to get me out of this “momma funk”. I don’t like it in the funk and I’m guessing neither do you. So I came up with this list to help us get out of the “momma funk” and back into Funkytown. (Don’t like it there either? Well, you get what I mean…!) Here are my six ways to master the mundane of motherhood:
1. Let In Some Self Love
Give yourself a break!! Life is in a continuous flux between being so amazing your heart is bursting and sucking so bad you don’t want to get out of bed. Motherhood can be incredibly rewarding and incredibly twisted. It has it’s ups and downs, it’s goods and bads. That’s life. When you are in that state of sometimes I really don’t like being a mom, what was I thinking!?!? (I know I am not the only one who has thought this!), that doesn’t mean you are a horrible person. You are not a rotten mother! You are a beautiful, capable, divine person worthy of love. Especially from yourself. So stop right there, before the negativity spirals out of control. Be gentle with yourself and choose love. You are not horrible, just human.
2. Make Time For Yourself
Before you became a mother, you were you. You were a woman with hopes, dreams, desires and ambitions. Heck, you still are! Taking on the sacred role of momma doesn’t mean we have to give all that up. In fact, the more we stay true to ourselves as women, the better moms we are. Women can have many identities that we change into each day, mothers being one of them, but let’s not forget that those identities don’t make us who we are. So get back to those things that light you up, that you love for yourself. Schedule time in your calendar for you every day. Yes, actually write it down in your planner or phone. The kids will be alright, your to do list can wait. You need time to feel like a woman again and like yourself again.
3. Do Something For Someone Else
Engaging in service for others has a way of helping us to forget about our own woes, even if for just a bit. Giving of ourselves to help in the needs of neighbors and friends can often put a much needed perspective on our own seemingly overwhelming frustrations or problems. Lose yourself and all that. Serving with compassion and love gets us outside our little bubbles for a time which can then offer a new clarity to our own lives. Serving is also a fabulous way of building a relationship with people you care about. And having people like that in your life can be a boon in those mundane moments.
4. Moments of Gratitude
No matter how awful we are feeling on any particular day, there is something to be grateful for. Some days we have to look harder than others, but they are there. Try picking a specific time of day, or two or three, for a moment of gratitude. Mine is every morning at the end of my meditation practice. I think of things that I am grateful for in that moment, on that day, and list them off in my mind. Allowing feelings of gratitude to permeate our souls will carry us throughout the day. Truly feeling gratitude can alter our mind and produce those “feel good chemicals” that make us feel happiness.
5. Get Outside
There is nothing like stepping outside and viewing magnificent Mother Nature to remind us how small we really are and how vast the universe is. The reminder that we are connected to something that is greater than ourselves can act as a reset button for our seemingly mundane existence. So bask in the beauties of the earth. Soak up the energies of Miss Mother Nature. Ground the heck out of that root chakra. You are part of something bigger and more beautiful. Your life has meaning and purpose. There are places on this earth where you can feel that. Get out there and find them!
6. Feel It Out
The way you feel matters. Even the uncomfortable and painful feelings matter. We can’t just allow in the feelings that feel good. We have to experience all our emotions. We will good and bad and everything in between and we have to know that it’s ok and healthy. Repressing any feeling we have that is negative or painful is not healthy. It’s not good for our minds, bodies or energies. It will make things worse in the long run. So when you find yourself in this funk, take a minute and allow yourself to feel it. I mean REALLY feel it. Swim in it! The trick is not to unpack and live there. By acknowledging that “Hey, this is how I feel right now” and then moving on from there, you are approaching the situation with love instead of fear. Love says, “I feel this way now, but I am a strong, capable woman and I will find my way out.” Fear says, “I should not be feeling this! I am a bad person! I am not worthy of feeling good!” Don’t let fear win. Allow yourself to be present and feel what you feel, and then move on. The only way to go is up.
Sometimes motherhood can make us feel like we are in “Groundhog Day,” repeating the same mundane tasks over and over, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. Maybe my desires to help myself on days like this can turn around and help you too. Just remember you are fabulous and strong and you deserve to live like a rockstar!