We can’t let fear over power us or we will never make it to what’s on the other side of the fear!
Since my last post about my battle with anxiety, I have been struggling with writing more. Not just writing more about my story, but just writing about anything. Lately, writing has felt forced and unnatural. I haven’t known how to put into words what I want to share, I am constantly worried about how it reads and if it makes any sense, and I worry that no one cares what I have to say. I think these are normal fears that come with putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. But that’s just it, they are FEARS, and if I have learned anything from the anxiety I have, it’s that my fears are not my reality. Your fears are not your reality! For someone (ME!!!) who has lived with fear being an almost daily presence for any amount of time, this can be a hard truth to accept. It takes a while to really believe those words. I am still working on believing them myself.
I want to write for my blog. I want to share myself and my journey to mindfulness. I want it to be a space where I can be free to be myself and learn and grow. But I can’t do that if I let the fears and the worries consume me. It’s making the thoughts jumbled and the words not flow. I need to stop worrying about whether or not I am a good enough writer to write (or good enough at any of my passions…) and just start writing(or doing…). Write from my heart. Write who I am. There is something to be said for learning good writing techniques and etiquette, but there is also something more to be said about being authentic.
Perfectionism is just another form a fear.
The perfectionist in me (working on that too!!) wants everything I do to be, well, perfect. And when I don’t reach whatever I think is perfect, I beat myself to a pulp! Perfection is unattainable, in this life anyway, and waiting until we are perfect at something before we begin is just silly. One of the best ways to learn is by doing, right?!?! Perfectionism is just another form a fear. The fear of not being good enough. As I sit here writing this, I realize the ridiculousness of perfectionism. It’s a one way ticket to unhappiness and the opposite of mindful self love.
I was listening to a podcast the other day, Earn Your Happy with Lori Harder, and she was talking about the other side of fear. We all will feel fear at some point, or many points, in our lives, but we can’t let that fear over power us or we will never make it to what’s on the other side of that fear. This was a lightbulb moment for me! On the other side is growth, learning, experiences, joy, relationships, fullfillment, light, happiness, etc, etc, etc! I don’t know about you, but I want ALL of those things in my life. So, plain and simple, fear is real but it’s not in control. If it is, we miss out on that list of awesome. We never get the the other side.
My hope is that more goals are attained and more productivity happens in my life(and yours!!) as a result of my observations here. More of EVERYTHING will come to us if we can let go of the fears and the need to be perfect. I feel, deep down, that to be the truth. They are holding us back! We deserve to move forward with joy.